If shooting your shot is wrong, the New Zealand Breakers of the NBL didn’t want to be right when they attempted to swoon LeBron James to come play overseas.
The Cleveland Cavaliers forward playing for a team in the NBL is laugh-out-loud funny (no offense, Breakers) and would be a superb narrative in itself, but if James isn’t playing in the NBA, we need to see the four-time MVP go wayyyyy outside of his comfort zone.
Here are some non-NBA jobs that are right up The King’s alley.
NFL tight end
This is an absolute gimme. A layup, if we’re staying on brand.
LeBron was a 6-foot-5 wide receiver in high school, reminiscent of an A.J. Green, before James picked up basketball full-time.
Now at 6-foot-8, 250-something pounds, James fits the mold of a modern-day NFL tight end. He’s also oozing with natural athleticism that would make the transition from the hardwood to the gridiron rather seamless. Plus, we would make Steelers rookie receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster rather ecstatic by slipping LeBron into Pittsburgh’s system.
LeBron’s Year 1 statistics at, let’s say, age 36 — 71 catches, 766 yards and 9 touchdowns. We’ll take it. Fantasy gem.
LeBron’s quite the businessman who wears multiple hats off the court. Just imagine this dialogue coming from out of your television speakers:
“Up next are two sisters from North Dakota who have developed a baby stroller that not only transports young infants, but can also serve as a grill for you to flip hamburgers on those warm summer afternoons. Can the two strike a deal with LeBron James?”
Oh yeah. Concoct a toddler-friendly device that also flips protein on the side and James is ponying up $250,000 for a 10 percent stake in equity and a dash of royalty in a heartbeat.
Plus, whenever the producers have a gap to fill sans Shark Tank deals, they can use James and Mark Cuban feuding about the Heat-Mavericks rivalry.
Polo and khakis? Nope. LeBron is 110 percent showing up to his client workouts wearing leggings, Nike shorts, those shoes he released that look like melted Peeps and a shooting sleeve.
“Let’s go, only 50 more, you can do this,” said James to Clarissa, the 41-year-old stay-at-home mother who appeared to be choking for air while on her 27th push-up.
Vegas security guard
Welcome to XS Night Club located at the Wynn in Las Vegas. It’s a gold-accented dance club that you’d need to gain admission to by first handing that out-of-state fake ID to LeBron, who would likely grin and give you the c’mon-man treatment before politely recommending the craps table at the Bellagio.
Plan on getting in a fracas or even dialing up an elaborate plan out circa Ocean’s Eleven to rob XS? Expect a running clothesline from LeBron, whose fake earpiece would stay perfectly intact as he belts out, “we’ve caught another one, Sarge” to nobody on the other end of, again, a fake earpiece that is strictly for show.
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